Health Update 8/10/05

As you all know, I am going through some major health difficulties. This will be another way you will know what is going on with me.

Well, another day has passed and another hurdle to overcome has popped up in my pathway. Sometimes it seems like life is a video game and you never know what to expect next or what the next level will be like once you get through the fiery one before that.

As you know, I have been awaiting my trip to the Mayo Clinic on August 26th. It isn't an easy wait because of the dread of the medical/physical tests and the diagnosis, finances and so on. It also isn't easy because while I continue to wait, I have to deal with the problems here by IV infusions two to three times a week, constant blood tests and so on.

This coming Thursday, the 18th, I will be going to the Rheumatologist for my first visit. The research I have done on my condition so far has brought forth some shocking revelations about the treatment I am going to have to undergo. I found out that part of the treatment is oral or injectable chemotherapy drugs. This idea struck me hard and scared me as well. However, I am in so much pain so much of the time anymore, anything to stop the progression of the disease and reduce the pain, I am anxious for. I just don't know which will be worse...the chemotherapy side effects or the pain of the disease!

When I saw my back specialist last week, he scheduled me for an MRI of my neck (cervical region) because for some time now, I have been experiencing pain, headaches and much numbness and tingling and loss of feeling in my arms and shoulder area. Last night, the doctor's office called to inform me that I have severely herniated disks in C5 & C6 and they will require surgical repair by a neurosurgeon. Once again I was knocked off of my feet and this time I was speechless. I couldn't imagine another thing to deal with or even remotely want to deal with! I was so discouraged and distressed. There are few parts of my body not bearing scars from surgery and my back was one of those places!

Last night after that phone call from the doctor's office, I went to a Southern Gospel concert and the Lord used many of the songs to minister peace and strength to me. He has always used music in my life to comfort, encourage and strengthen me and even convict me.

I bought a small pamphlet there written by one of the singers entitled The Peace That Passeth Understanding. She had been through cancer at a fairly young age. It was just a small pamphlet and I decided after flipping through it, that I would buy it. When I went to bed last night, I decided to read it after reading Psalms 103. On the first page of this book she says "It is not easy to attain the peace that passes understanding. You don't just find it on the street corner, nor even in church on Sunday morning. It comes to you through great tribulation. You have heard that a basketball team is only as good as the competition it plays. That philosophy can be applied to the peace that passes understanding. It is the highest degree of peace; to attain it, you must have tribulation of a like degree --- earth shattering, mind bending, life threatening problems." I know that I can have peace in the midst of all of this and I can with God's help be a testimony to others by how I handle these trials.

I know that through this time, God wants to use me and minister to others. The only way that I can do that is to hang on to His hand and lean on His everlasting arms. I sure do like that phrase "everlasting arms." I know it won't be easy and I know I am stubborn and it is easier for me to get angry and frustrated instead of trusting in God and taking it step by step with my hand in His.

I want to share a song with you that really ministered to me. It is called "Peace in the Midst of the Storm"

Peace In the Midst of the Storm


Even though the winds aren't still
And the waves continue tossing me
From the storm I call His name
For relief from things distressing me
Now so quietly it comes
Strength to find my course again
Though He does so much for me
His sweetest gift will always be

Peace in the midst of the storm
Peace in the midst of the storm
I cry to Him for mercy
His great Love takes the form
Of peace in the midst of the storm.

What tomorrows hold they hold
Joy and sadness coming day by day
But I will not be afraid
Though I know some storms will come my way
Let my enemy be sure
I will not be lost at sea
There will never come a time
That with prayer I cannot find
Such peace in the midst of the storm

Peace in the midst of the storm
Peace in the midst of the storm
I cry to Him for mercy
His great Love takes the form
Of peace in the midst of the storm.

The other song was "The Anchor Holds"


I have journeyed
Through the long, dark night
Out on the open sea
By faith alone
Sight unknown
And yet His eyes were watching me

CHORUS:
The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered
The anchor holds
Though the sails are torn
I have fallen on my knees
As I faced the raging seas
The anchor holds
In spite of the storm
Ive had visions
Ive had dreams
Ive even held them in my hand
But I never knew
They would slip right through
Like they were only grains of sand

CHORUS
The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered
The anchor holds
Though the sails are torn
I have fallen on my knees
As I faced the raging seas
The anchor holdsIn spite of the storm

I have been young
But I am older now
And there has been beauty
That these eyes have seen
But it was in the night
Through the storms of my life
Oh, thats where God proved His love to me
The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered
The anchor holds
Though the sails are torn
I have fallen on my knees
As I faced the raging seas
The anchor holds
In spite of the storm

Please pray for me as I continue to trust and endure. I have not found it easy even though I am quite used to medical problems and difficulties. Please pray that God will supply all my needs as He has promised.

I will continue to keep you posted and updated as I get any new information.

Love,
Helen
Psalm 121
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
3He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.